Trapped in a vicious cycle.
Need to get over 3000 words written before 5pm tomorrow. Yes, the 5pm that is in 25 hours 23 minutes away (at this time of writing). It's worth 25% of my only core module. That means if I don't get it in, I'm realistically crippling myself to having - not wanting, but having to gain 55% in the module through other means. This is done by weekly stats tests. I am not on track for this. If I fail this module, I won't be coming back next year for year two.
And all I can do is sit at my laptop and try not to cry, or stuff my face with food. Fucking reject.
Stress? Stress makes me want to cut. Or brand myself. Or do SOMETHING destructive.
In other news, I've gone veggie. It's... interesting. Not over-enamoured yet but it's stopping me from eating a load of junk all the time.
Hallo, Darlin'!
ReplyDeleteHoly fuck! I find the idea of a 5000 word essay totally daunting! No wonder you have nightmares! Yikes!
I'm on day two of my three day fast, I've gained 2kg (5.5lbs)(WTF?) and I've just cried my eyes out! Bigger fucking reject, you're in good company, Doll!
My inability to express my anger makes me cut. I'm so pathetic!
Best of luck with going veggie. I was veggie for 10 years. Technically, my brain still is! I. R. Stoopid! Ha! Feel better soon. <3. XXX.