Friday, 10 June 2011

My life never runs smoothly...

Eurgh. Argh. Fuck it all. I hate this :(

My day yesterday...

Got up after three hours sleep. Felt so ill on the train from low blood sugar due to not eating day before. Had to break fast to avoid throwing up stomach bile. Stuffed face with sugar.

Looking at houses started well, hit a peak and then crashed magnificently. First house was amazing, I really want it. But I won't find out until next week. Second house was nice but realistically, I'm never going to walk 45 minutes straight to go to cheerleading in the middle of winter so it's kinda out... Third was a fucking slum. No point me even looking. Stuffed face with a steak dinner.

Went to see X-Men. Stuffed face with food. Got depressed when told that first house is going to wait til next week to decide on who they want and that second house needs a reply by (today). Sulked a little. Has a massive, fuck off, pretty sure everyone who still lived here in Wales could hear, argument with Andy. Got told I'm selfish and the reason I'm fat is that I don't do anything, I'm lazy and I'm horrible to live with. Echoes of what my mum shouts at me in an argument (guess they must be true then?) Spend the night crying whilst shouting abuse at him before we curl up together exhausted and promising that we love each other. Not sure.

Wake up. Stuff face with food. Cry over housing situation. Cry over job situation - working tomorrow night with my ex for 12 FUCKING hours. Cry over fat situation whilst drinking another full fat milkshake. Cry over uselessness. Want for a hug but Andy is still asleep. Cry a little over that.

And I probably find out if I am still a uni student tonight after a three hour train journey. I better drink more, there will be tears...

1 comment:

  1. Fuck, I'm so sorry, Merla. I hope things improve for you soon. Thinking of you. *Big Hug*! <3. XXX.