I want this blog to be somewhere I can record my thoughts, feelings, calorie intake, thinspo I love, anger, frustration, achievements and successes. I want to try and update at least three times a week. I don't want to influence others or encourage eating disorders. I don't want to have to force myself to update this. I don't want abuse or people telling me I'm wrong for thinking the way I do. I have a therapist for that. Occasionally I might ask for advice or for help on something; but generally it's going to be personal and rhetorical. Comment if you find something interesting, fancy debate or have something to share - but remember the adage of 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all'. We're all trying to get through this world with as few problems as possible after all.
I set this up on the 26th of October 2010. That's exactly 7 months before my 21st birthday.
Short term goals
I want to be 134lbs by Christmas. That's 2 months and 8 lbs. I currently weigh 142lbs after Freshers Week. I need to stop using that as an excuse and take the kick up the arse that I've needed all along. I want to do this by restricting, upping my exercise (currently I cheerlead twice a week. It's not incredibly strenuous) and doing fasts occasionally. I am under no illusions, it won't be fun, and it won't be pretty. But it'll sure as hell be worth it.
Long term goals
Honestly, I don't think I currently have a long term goal. I'd love, love, LOVE to be under 9 stone (that's 126lbs), closer to 8. I want to be a size 10. I want to fit into itty bitty dresses and shorts and look good. And I want a gap between my thighs when I sit down/stand up/walk. I hate that! I want to look fit and healthy as well as thin, which is why exercise is a huge part of my plan.
And some day... some day, I want to be happy.