Sunday, 12 February 2012

Not sure how much longer I can hold on any more...

Everything is so stressful...

Uni work is hard and there's so much to do that I don't know where to start so I don't start it at all.

Cheerleading is going terribly and we have a comp next weekend and the weekend after that.

I can't see my boyfriend for Valentines day (even though neither of us really care about it) as I have cheer practice tomorrow night, and a lecture on Wednesday at 9am so I can't get there and back in time.

I haven't seen my family in months and will miss my Dads and sisters birthdays in April because of cheerleading.

I can't start any meds until at least March because of cheerleading and exams.

I got bumped down the counselling waiting list because I didn't get the email with my appointment in.

My laptop died just after Christmas and wiped my hard drive so I can't update the website I built for our cheerleading squad or update my iPod with the 6 CDs, including running tracks, that I've bought since then.

All I can think about is food.

I keep bingeing randomly but because I can't purge I'm gaining weight.

I see nothing good in myself and just want to curl up and cry all the time

And to top it of... I'm still fucking fat.

God I hate life.


  1. i know how you feel. it fucking sucks. i just hope that one day soon the stress will lessen and control will be mine again

  2. Ok just think...cheerleading and exams can only physically go on for so long! Then you can relax. Valentines is so blah anyway. As for family I hope that soon you can see them all. Eventually everything starts to sort itself out and things will improve <3