ABC diet is... ok. I'm kinda picking and choosing what days I do and what days I don't - I can't really fast atm because of cheer and gymnastics. Thought I was going to die this morning traipsing up the hills to uni, was so pleased when I go to class and my TA produced a packet of cookies; I honestly think I would've just died if I hadn't eaten something. Especially as I'm very sleep deprived right now. No more than 5 hours a night :(
Did a sneaky weigh in this morning. 137.6lbs. YAY! Then I thought, wait, I like to double check with another measurement, preferably in a different scale, y'know? So hopped back on with the scales set to kilos and I weighed in at... 66.6kgs. That's 146lbs. Wait, what?!
So I'm gonna have to weigh again about three times tomorrow. Bleh. Not good, given that today I've eaten lots of biscuits and my dinner was a lovely carb filled noodles and toast...
Still can't find my camera USB port thing so no pictures yet, still taking them for you all though so when I get it I'll post them :)
Friday, 21 October 2011
Monday, 17 October 2011
ABC post 1
Starting weight: 146.6lbs
Goal weight (next week): 143lbs
Food for today:
Breakfast - Cheerios and semi skimmed milk, green tea = 150cals
Lunch - Small apple, two slices of seeded bread toast = 200 cals
Dinner - Salad (lettuce, cucumber, tomato, carrot shreds, beetroot, half slice of cheese, whatever else I can find in the fridge) = 100 cals
Snacks - Hot chocolate = 40 cals
Total = 490 cals
Water target - 1.5litres
Will report back on how I do :)
Goal weight (next week): 143lbs
Food for today:
Breakfast - Cheerios and semi skimmed milk, green tea = 150cals
Lunch - Small apple, two slices of seeded bread toast = 200 cals
Dinner - Salad (lettuce, cucumber, tomato, carrot shreds, beetroot, half slice of cheese, whatever else I can find in the fridge) = 100 cals
Snacks - Hot chocolate = 40 cals
Total = 490 cals
Water target - 1.5litres
Will report back on how I do :)
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Starting ABC tomorrow...
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
I know it's not the most healthy or sensible diet but I desperately need a kick start to get myself on track. These last 10 days have just been horrendous, binging every day, not exercising and half the time not even going to lectures or getting out of bed until 3pm. Not been to cheerleading or exercised since... the 5th. Fuck me. No wonder I'm fat...
Rules:
- Weigh in/measure self only on Mondays
- Any extra cals must be burnt off with cardio
- Minimum of 40 minutes exercise a day
- Minimum of 1.5 litres of water drunk each day
- Post a picture to record progress every Monday as well
I'm determined to do this!
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
Day 3: 300 calories
Day 4: 400 calories
Day 5: 100 calories
Day 6: 200
Day 7: 300 calories
Day 8: 400 calories
Day 9: 500 calories
Day 10: FAST
Day 11: 150 calories
Day 12: 200 calories
Day 13: 400 calories
Day 14: 350 calories
Day 15: 250 calories
Day 16: 200 calories
Day 17: FAST
Day 18: 200 calories
Day 19: 100 calories
Day 20: FAST
Day 21: 300 calories
Day 22: 250 calories
Day 23: 200 calories
Day 24: 150 calories
Day 25: 100 calories
Day 26: 50
Day 27: 100 calories
Day 28: 200 calories
Day 29: 200 calories
Day 30: 300 calories
Day 31: 800 calories
Day 32: FAST
Day 33: 250 calories
Day 34: 350 calories
Day 35: 450 calories
Day 36: FAST
Day 37: 500 calories
Day 38: 450 calories
Day 39: 400 calories
Day 40: 350 calories
Day 41: 300 calories
Day 42: 250 calories
Day 43: 200 calories
Day 44: 200 calories
Day 45: 250 calories
Day 46: 200 calories
Day 47: 300 calories
Day 48: 200 calories
Day 49: 150 calories
Day 50: FAST I know it's not the most healthy or sensible diet but I desperately need a kick start to get myself on track. These last 10 days have just been horrendous, binging every day, not exercising and half the time not even going to lectures or getting out of bed until 3pm. Not been to cheerleading or exercised since... the 5th. Fuck me. No wonder I'm fat...
Rules:
- Weigh in/measure self only on Mondays
- Any extra cals must be burnt off with cardio
- Minimum of 40 minutes exercise a day
- Minimum of 1.5 litres of water drunk each day
- Post a picture to record progress every Monday as well
I'm determined to do this!
Friday, 7 October 2011
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Some nice reverse thinspo for ya...
Not everyone's cup of tea, and a little tongue in cheek...
Hehe belly button.
Top is 2 sizes too small for me - bought it for £2. One day I will post a picture where it looks GREAT on me. One day. I'll be wearing the size 12 jeans that I bought ages ago as well....
Top is 2 sizes too small for me - bought it for £2. One day I will post a picture where it looks GREAT on me. One day. I'll be wearing the size 12 jeans that I bought ages ago as well....
Saturday, 1 October 2011
I'm sorry
For being such a bad blogger. Truth is there's so much in my life right now I don't have time to blog here...
Currently I'm in lectures 15 hours a week, cheerleading 7 hours a week, gymnastics and swimming 6 hours, walking for at least two hours a day, planning and setting up extracurriculars for about 10 hours a week and sleeping a solid 9 hours every night. In my free time now I either eat (minimally) or am trying to do uni work. Or make some money. I have a few experiments (not as bad as they sound!) lined up that pay so I'm doing them a lot, as well as the ones I need to do for my course credit.
I've applied for a job manning phone lines calling alumni at the end of the month and a job mentoring pupils in the local high schools to try and keep them in education (should be interesting...). One is paid (the phone line) the other isn't but is great work experience and a chance to show that I am passionate about education, psychology and making up for my past mistakes.
I'm also trying to clean up my cheer squads website, which admittedly is nearly finished, just needs the last bits on it. Just haven't had the time/will to battle with HTML.
New flatmates moved in today; three Chinese guys and one Chinese girl. First impressions are good but still a little wary and anxious. :/
This week was the first week of lectures, and was largely introductory/slow ones. Apart from one - psychobiology. You know when you're on a rollercoaster that starts out slow and then gets really really fast and you lose track of where you are and what you're doing? It's still fun but a little WTF. Yeah, got about an hour into that two hour lecture and she just lost me completely. I was doing fine and then BAM it's gone. God damn it. So I've got to spend at least an hour today going over that stuff... Because I am determined to get over 65% in my modules this year. I wouldn't tell anyone else that (I've told them I'm aiming for a 2:2 - 55% - so if I get it I won't be disappointed) though.
Plus my room is an absolute TIP. So today... Tidy room, spend an hour going over lecture notes, wander into town. Plan.
I still need to do the last few posts of thinspo from my old computer.
Currently I'm in lectures 15 hours a week, cheerleading 7 hours a week, gymnastics and swimming 6 hours, walking for at least two hours a day, planning and setting up extracurriculars for about 10 hours a week and sleeping a solid 9 hours every night. In my free time now I either eat (minimally) or am trying to do uni work. Or make some money. I have a few experiments (not as bad as they sound!) lined up that pay so I'm doing them a lot, as well as the ones I need to do for my course credit.
I've applied for a job manning phone lines calling alumni at the end of the month and a job mentoring pupils in the local high schools to try and keep them in education (should be interesting...). One is paid (the phone line) the other isn't but is great work experience and a chance to show that I am passionate about education, psychology and making up for my past mistakes.
I'm also trying to clean up my cheer squads website, which admittedly is nearly finished, just needs the last bits on it. Just haven't had the time/will to battle with HTML.
New flatmates moved in today; three Chinese guys and one Chinese girl. First impressions are good but still a little wary and anxious. :/
This week was the first week of lectures, and was largely introductory/slow ones. Apart from one - psychobiology. You know when you're on a rollercoaster that starts out slow and then gets really really fast and you lose track of where you are and what you're doing? It's still fun but a little WTF. Yeah, got about an hour into that two hour lecture and she just lost me completely. I was doing fine and then BAM it's gone. God damn it. So I've got to spend at least an hour today going over that stuff... Because I am determined to get over 65% in my modules this year. I wouldn't tell anyone else that (I've told them I'm aiming for a 2:2 - 55% - so if I get it I won't be disappointed) though.
Plus my room is an absolute TIP. So today... Tidy room, spend an hour going over lecture notes, wander into town. Plan.
I still need to do the last few posts of thinspo from my old computer.
Friday, 23 September 2011
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Old thinspo I
(Yes this is the picture in my avatar. No it's not me!)
From various sources, Lookbook, PrettyThin (if you're on there, leave a comment with your name - though I think most of the bloggers I have subbed to came from there), random google searches... Some are repeats, I know, but they're pretty! I still have another 30 images in the folder I rescued so I'll do another one or two of these.
Monday, 19 September 2011
Oh fuck.
Said I want to do swimming when I go back to uni on fb.
Now I have like three people who want to join me.
Meaning they will see me in a swimming costume.
Fuuuuuuuuck.
Now I have like three people who want to join me.
Meaning they will see me in a swimming costume.
Fuuuuuuuuck.
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Rescued some old pictures...
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
And then I stopped taking pictures... Worth noting that in June 2010, my friend died and I went through my first break up... result = 10lbs weight loss in 5 days. Unfortunately that lasted about a week.
I dunno what the point of this post is. All I know is Andy's gone, I move into a house on my own in a day and a half and my new flatmates don't speak English. I keep thinking that I have no friends at uni (which is a lie, as I *do*) and I'm going to fail. I want a hug.
No internet from Monday to Friday... Though I will try to write a thinspo post to schedule to automatically post on Thursday if I can before I go. Found my old thinspo folder!
Friday, 16 September 2011
Monday Monday...
On Monday I (hopefully) move into my new house and go back to uni... Diet and exercise regime starts. My plan is:
Monday
Morning swim 1 hr
Lectures 2 hrs
Gymnastics 2 hrs
Tuesday
Morning swim 1 hr
Lectures 3hrs
Gym 2 hrs
Wednesday
Lectures 2 hrs
Afternoon swim 1 hr
Cheerleading 2 hrs
Thursday
Lectures all day (bleurgh!)
Gymnastics 2 hrs
Friday
Morning swim 1 hr
Gym 2 hrs
Saturday
Afternoon swim 2 hrs
Sunday
Cheerleading 3 hrs
Swimming 2 hrs
Gym is italicised because I'm not certain I'm going to join the gym, if I can afford it etc.
Food plan is, to begin with, following the amounts suggested by http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm for each week. Lots of fresh veg, grilled chicken, water! Going to drink at least 1.5l of water a day. No arguments. Only tea is included (but not officially counted) as well as water. I have a nice new water bottle that I want to fill every morning (it's only 500ml) and drink in lectures, then refill when I get home (obviously on Thursdays I'll just take a massive bottle in the first place!).
No idea what my start weight is... Small problem as I need it for the calculator. But I'm too scared to weigh myself :( I've definitely gained as I only have one pair of jeans left that fit me. Fucking fat fuck. Also too scared to try on my cheerleading uniform which I *have* to wear three times next week.
On the one hand I'm excited to go back and control my life, get back into exercise and cheerleading/gymnastics especially! But on the other it means leaving my BF and only seeing him once/twice a month - from seeing him every day as we live together currently. I plan on having mini goal weights that coincide with seeing him and we'll see if he notices :p I know when he goes back he wants to be healthier and lose some weight too so it'll be good to see the differences in us.
Monday
Morning swim 1 hr
Lectures 2 hrs
Gymnastics 2 hrs
Tuesday
Morning swim 1 hr
Lectures 3hrs
Gym 2 hrs
Wednesday
Lectures 2 hrs
Afternoon swim 1 hr
Cheerleading 2 hrs
Thursday
Lectures all day (bleurgh!)
Gymnastics 2 hrs
Friday
Morning swim 1 hr
Gym 2 hrs
Saturday
Afternoon swim 2 hrs
Sunday
Cheerleading 3 hrs
Swimming 2 hrs
Gym is italicised because I'm not certain I'm going to join the gym, if I can afford it etc.
Food plan is, to begin with, following the amounts suggested by http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm for each week. Lots of fresh veg, grilled chicken, water! Going to drink at least 1.5l of water a day. No arguments. Only tea is included (but not officially counted) as well as water. I have a nice new water bottle that I want to fill every morning (it's only 500ml) and drink in lectures, then refill when I get home (obviously on Thursdays I'll just take a massive bottle in the first place!).
No idea what my start weight is... Small problem as I need it for the calculator. But I'm too scared to weigh myself :( I've definitely gained as I only have one pair of jeans left that fit me. Fucking fat fuck. Also too scared to try on my cheerleading uniform which I *have* to wear three times next week.
On the one hand I'm excited to go back and control my life, get back into exercise and cheerleading/gymnastics especially! But on the other it means leaving my BF and only seeing him once/twice a month - from seeing him every day as we live together currently. I plan on having mini goal weights that coincide with seeing him and we'll see if he notices :p I know when he goes back he wants to be healthier and lose some weight too so it'll be good to see the differences in us.
Saturday, 27 August 2011
Storytime
There once was a girl and a boy. They fell madly in love and soon began to spend every day together. When they were parted, they felt nothing but sadness. They laughed and smiled and played, and loved and lived. They were happy and others were jealous of their relationship. But soon, the boy began to tire of his princess and wished to leave the happy home they had. He tried to run without breaking her heart but she followed his every step, not wanting to be away from her prince. He tried to think on his own but found her in every thought he had.
Unwilling to upset his beloved, he carried on with his life in the little home they had together. He laughed and smiled and played, but no longer loved and lived. He merely existed. Though his princess had realised something had changed within him she was too consumed with her own pain to notice his. Eventually he could not stand to live a life in captivity with her any more and so one night, he told his princess that he didn't love her any more.
The princess stood and cried in disbelief that her handsome prince no longer wanted her. She begged and pleaded with him, and promised to be better. She gave up her habits for him and wished to only please him. She could not bear to see him slip through her fingers like so many others in her life had done. They argued and shouted and cried together, and neither loved or lived for a while. They called each other names; lazy, selfish, fat, arrogant, bitch, c**t. Yet neither meant a word of it... Both carried their own pains and the others for so long, it was a struggle to go on. Both wished for a better life, yet had no means with which to make it. Both felt hopeless and alone. Yet they had each other.
Maybe.
I don't know how this ends and it's killing me. I don't think I've felt so much pain before. I don't want to lose him.
:*(
Unwilling to upset his beloved, he carried on with his life in the little home they had together. He laughed and smiled and played, but no longer loved and lived. He merely existed. Though his princess had realised something had changed within him she was too consumed with her own pain to notice his. Eventually he could not stand to live a life in captivity with her any more and so one night, he told his princess that he didn't love her any more.
The princess stood and cried in disbelief that her handsome prince no longer wanted her. She begged and pleaded with him, and promised to be better. She gave up her habits for him and wished to only please him. She could not bear to see him slip through her fingers like so many others in her life had done. They argued and shouted and cried together, and neither loved or lived for a while. They called each other names; lazy, selfish, fat, arrogant, bitch, c**t. Yet neither meant a word of it... Both carried their own pains and the others for so long, it was a struggle to go on. Both wished for a better life, yet had no means with which to make it. Both felt hopeless and alone. Yet they had each other.
Maybe.
I don't know how this ends and it's killing me. I don't think I've felt so much pain before. I don't want to lose him.
:*(
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
I am never going to become this
(I'm thinking about doing something like this when I go back to uni, over the year. Take a photo every weekend and then make them into a slideshow before I leave for summer... Maybe. Will make me work harder!)
That's the end of the thinspo, apart from a really cool hair pic. Click back on your browser if you don't want to here about calories and hatred...
Things are not going well, at all. Clearly, when I am left to decide for myself what I should eat over two and a half friggin' days, I can not make the right decision. My shopping for being back in halls for resits:
- 2 ready meals (500+ cals each)
- 4 pork and pickle pies (300 cals each)
- Tub of mini sausage rolls, 24 pieces (35 cals each, so 840 all together)
- Bacon and leek quiche (916 cals all together)
- A bag of Skittles (712 cals... god, I can never eat them again)
- Two tubes of Munchies (266 each... 532 cals together)
- A bag of Penn State Sour Cream and Chive Pretzels (777 cal)
- A bottle of Frijj (450 cals)
- 2 pints of skimmed milk (5 calories? neglible)
- 3 bananas (large so like... 150 each... 450 cals)
- Small bottle of sparkling water (5 cals)
- Big bottle of water (n/a)
- Small pot of salad (100 cal? I dunno, I threw half away. Go figure.)
- A pack of cocktail sausages that I took one of and then threw away because they were really peppery and gross
- Several mugs of tea (10 cals, lol... purely because I have drunk a very large amount of tea!)
Edit... worked it out. Grand total was something like 6997, which makes 2333 a day ish.
Not to mention the sandwich, hot chocolate, pretzels and drink I had on the train. That's like a weeks worth of food! FFS! Dunno whether to calculate my total or not... It might send me into a bit of a melt down. I already feel fragile :(
No wonder I feel bloated and crap, eh? Wish I had more clothes than just one pair of trousers so I could at least exercise or *something*. I'll go swimming when I get home. For certain.
Me and BF made a pact. No SH for me, and no cigarettes for him. He didn't want to make it, but I needed to. Don't know why controlling someone else makes it easier to control myself... I think that's an even worse path to go down than not eating. God damn it, I really want to right now. Really, really want to. FUCK this lack of anything harmful. The most harmful thing I have here is a fucking plastic knife. Screw you.
Random aside to the moaning and self hatred... I want this girls hair. It's amazing...
Sorry. I'll update with my current life story soon. But right now, I need to mope and be sad and stuff.
All photos are from the wonderful http://thinspox.tumblr.com/
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